(The Southern Term: The Yankee Translation)
1. "That dawg don't hunt": That's not how that works, my friend.
2. "Ah-tell-yew-whut": Listen up, I'm about to make an empty threat.
3. "Bless her heart": The following statement is about to be an absolutely brutal diss towards someone who generally has done nothing to deserve it, like a small child, or a slightly overweight honor student.
4. "Y'all": Direct referral to those individuals within the general vicinity.
5. "Shit fire!": Excrement flames.
6. "Noodlin'": The act of fishing for large catfish using nothing but your fist/ lower arm. Generally, this involves placing your fist in the fishes mouth, causing them to bite down, and dragging them out of the water. Disclaimer: Noodles are in no way involved.
7. "Muddin'": Purposely taking your vehicle out into the wilderness, after an intense rainfall, to drive recklessly through the mud and water that has accumulated in the ground. Often this involved multiple friends, and few seatbelts.
8. "Coke": Pop (Seriously, though, what's up with that? Pop?)
9. "Restroom": Washroom. (Again, though, seriously...)
10. "Sweet Tea": I won't even bother translating this one, you wouldn't even begin to understand what I'm talking about.
Because Larry the Cable Guy is not a fair representation of the South. We do not claim him.
Because we do claim Duck Dynasty.
Because, Seriously, please someone explain how "pop" makes even remote sense?
Because that's just How It Is.
Photo courtesy of Christopher Columbus.