1. Duckface. Of any kind. On any person. At any age.
2. Tween Selfies. Stop putting under-age ab pictures all over the Internet. We're only friends because my mom was your sixth grade teacher last year, so stop making me feel like I'm going to jail. Not cute.
3. Dramatic posts. Honey, he isn't coming back to you. No matter how many song lyrics you post about how it was meant to be, or many ways you think you're supposed to spell "ur luv" out for him, he's gone. And you won't be seeing him again until the next time you stalk his Facebook... or his house.
4. Internet Lingo. As an English major, it makes me die slowly on the inside to read statuses and YouTube comments "thet git spolled wrong on perpis, or at list you hope to god they r".
5. Spam. Both kinds.
6. Viruses. Both kinds.
7. The Kardashians. Both kinds.
8. People Like This Guy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWDkxMtHSaA
9. The Number of "!!!!!" I Used on Facebook Posts Back In the Day.
10. Grumpy Cat.
Because the only people who need to be duck-facing are hiding from the hunters and their dogs.
Because LOL OMG ROTFL TTYL STFU. U guys r craycray.
Because cats are supposed to be cute and cuddly, not hurtful and sarcastic.
Because that's just How It Is.