2. I don't understand how it is that, if I don't shower for three days, I'm considered "gross" or "embarrassing", but if a dude in skinny jeans doesn't shower for three days, he's considered hip and artistic.
3. I don't understand why they brought Firbys back from the 90's.
4. I can't fathom how anyone figured out that you can remove hair from your body using hot wax.
5. Why did Adam and Eve not chop down the tree? And why did it not occur to anyone that talking to a snake was a BAD DECISION.
6. I don't understand how I suddenly became allergic to cinnamon. I hope peanut butter isn't next on the list.
7. I don't quite get why it is that Green Peace keeps giving me paper fliers instead of sending me emails.Unless, of course, their trash is less harmful than normal-people's trash.
8. Why is it that green cards are never green, Yellowstone doesn't have a single yellow stone in it, and being "in the black" is supposed to be a good thing?
9. I don't understand how children under the age of eight are so skilled at using Apple products and their apps.
10. I don't understand how a brown bean, ground to pieces and doused with hot water, can produce such a heavenly beverage.
11. It's beyond me why the guy wearing an "I Heart Whores" shirt on Michigan Avenue went about his day without repercussion, but the young men holding hands outside of Starbucks on that same street garnered stares from several tourists.
12. I'll doubt I'll ever quite get why the young gals of this generation are encouraged to love themselves for who they are, yet are encouraged to idolize the likes of thin models and reality television stars, instead of inspiringly unconventional beauties like Anne Frank, Rosa Parks, Betty White, or the laundry list of First Ladies our nation has had.
13. I don't understand why one of (if not the) most Googled questions in 2011 was "Who is Osama Bin Laden."
Because sometimes a girl is running late, hence the invention of dry shampoo.
Because I swear I saw a Gerber jar on Instagram the other day. Babies foodstagramming.
Because maybe we should focus more on protecting our daughters from magazines, not our sons from their boyfriends.
Because that's just How It Is.