1. Marie Antoinette : "Let them eat cake."
Let them eat cake? Really? Really now? Do you have any idea the detrimental dietary damage that could do to the plebeians beneath you? Are you TRYING to give your entire nation Diabetes? Not okay, Marie. Not okay at all. How about 'Let them eat Greek yogurt'?
2. Mahatma Gandhi: "Nobody can hurt me without my permission."
Listen, Mahti, (mind if I call you Mahti?) you died in 1948. Social media didn't exist. If you could see the lack of spelling, punctuation, and grammar that floods the internet these days, you would be in absolute and total pain.
3. Abraham Lincoln: "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Unless you hold the world record for the oldest living person. Then I'd like to think years would be a hugedeal. Guinness Book of World Records doesn't care if you went sky diving. You have to think about these things, Abe.
4. Albert Einstein: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
You best believe that if I do the "Insanity" workout more than once, I will fully expect results. Otherwise I want my money back in full. I'm not even kidding.
5. Oscar Wilde: "True friends stab you in the front."
6. Maya Angelou: "Nothing will work unless you do."
What are you, my mother? I've been applying places like crazy, they just aren't calling me back. I literally just graduated college. Get off my case.
7. Winston Churchill: "Never, never, never give up."
I think you and Sir Justin Bieber would get along swimmingly. Perhaps even Taylor Swift.
8. Dalai Lama: "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."
You, good sir, have obviously never attended high school. Or junior high. Or summer camp. Or the country club. Or a family reunion.
9. C. S. Lewis: "You are never too old to set another goal, or dream a new dream."
THANK YOU. I'm glad someone finally agrees with me. Now will you help me convince my parents that I am perfectly capable of taking gold in gymnastics at the next Olympics? I swear, it's like they've lost faith in me simply because I've never even attempted athletics before. People change. Besides, how hard can it be?
10. Buddha: "The mind is everything. What you think, you become."
FALSE. I thought I was going to win the third grade spelling bee, and it didn't happen. I also thought I was going to be a millionaire by now. Also didn't happen.
Because some people, even the famous ones, need to be checked on occasion.
Because there are just some things they never considered.
Because it's all good. Stuff happens.
Because that's just How It Is.